Dreams.....

I wasn't planning this post but I have just received an email for Codham Park Equestrian about jumpcross training.  This time last year I was full of hopes a dreams to try and resume my jumping in some form or another career with Zulu.  This is when I discovered Jumpcross not to far away.

Zulu liked show jumping and I liked cross country so this would be perfect for both of us.  So I booked in on a training course and the competition a week later.... I think this was in March.  Like many things with Zulu, we never got there. Like a death, we are slowly coming round to the year anniversary of the dreadful news.  It took me another few months, Becky (again she crops up) to have a few words with me about the harsh realities and finally Zulu himself to stop letting me on board to finally accept it.  The dream was over.

I have a post in working as it has been for 3 months now about my Zulu story. I start, I get upset and I stop. 

I miss him as he was and even today at lunch with a client I talked about him, how low I got 

last year and where do you go when you get your lifetime dream and it fails.  Because, that is what he was, my childhood dream. My beautiful black stallion and my best friend. He was what I read about in all my teenage books.  My very own Black Beauty.  He is still here and we still love each other just as much. He seeks me out everyday and we always have the together time that independent Conor has never required. 

But, as much as you may not want them to. Dreams can change and move on, they don't have to remain static. It takes effort and willpower, it can be done. 

Let's look at the website and think how much Empress Eager will love it :-)

Ride like PK

So Eager's 3rd weekend at Ashen. I arrived in a mix of guilt and stress about the fact I still haven't really been riding Eager apart from maybe a hack each weekend.  If I've managed to ride once very two weeks since January I've been doing well (not to include the whole of December off).  So have been feeling quite weird and close to tears all week and questioning if I really want to ride at all? Maybe a bit of Zulu grief still coming out.

So after the 10 minute excuse session to Becky and obsession with left side issue.  Just bloody well got on with it!  So the focus was to get Eager to stop gaily flossing about with her head in the air and to get me plugged in.  B said the back of my thigh looked to be popped up and that I was almost levitating above the saddle.  So I focused on sitting on what I would call the back of my seat bones and did the usual 'nothing' with my thigh.  So more of the thigh just being draped around the saddle. I overheard Becky saying that because I am quite high tone and I'm naturally very strong sometimes it is for me doing less that other people need to do more.

The next was Eager's flossing... Lol and generally moving too fast. So I slowed my pelvis down in walk and when it was right, really felt like our pelvis's were connected and we were both doing a sexy walk together. Next her head position and it was about being very firm and clear with her about the poll flexion. Keep the outside elbow locked into the side and raising the inside hand to get the poll flexion.  When she dropped the nose, release.  To me the outside rein felt like it had to be really locked into my side and quite strong and as I felt it, I had a vision that I looked like PK when I had seen him. (Not that I actually looked like him) but a real sense suddenly of the upper body being up and back with a real lightness in the hand.  Well this had the effect! Eager suddenly rounded and seemed to be bouncing along like the mare showing off that she had in the lunge earlier. To finish looking like this :-) 

In the workshop we had a discussion about when we know a horse has learnt something? Becky had done some research and has come to the conclusion that after 5 consistent times in a row, study would show this is learnt behaviour and we can move on,

Next day I got on and seemed to retain my PK'ness with a couple of reminders from B. Really tried to stay sharp with the inside rein lift and be clear that when I do this she is to put her head down and round. Whilst keeping my elbows in and outside one to stay firm.  Eager is funny but was a lot more focused and listening today.  We processed this into trot, where initially she wasn't really liking it at all. But settled down. I was asking through the transitions, but hard for her to maintain and this will be work in progress for when she is able to maintain poll flexion in all gaits.

The next exercise was to try an get her weight onto both shoulders evenly. On the straight side, ask for bend, then bend with poll flexion.  When this is achieved do a small vault and allow to extend the neck back onto the track. A demi-vault.  This is how our session ended with the away in trot.

So...... Be in my left, drap my legs from my hips as if being suspended in a baby bouncer, ride like PK (I think this means with poise) with my elbows IN. Work on poll flexion being consistent from the second I get on.  This means all the time I ride means something, even if only for 10 minutes. Therefore, will be ready to progress for my 3 day course at Becky's next week! WooHoo

I am so pleased with Eager and feeling much less stressed and hard on myself. She progressed so well in just 2 ridden sessions.  All is not over and she is only 4!

What goes on tour......

So I spent 4 days in St Anton.  Which can only be described as ..... Decadent.  We went for David's boss/friend 50th Birthday.  Massively, generous he paid for all our accommodation in the most amazing Mooser Hotel. In total I think there were about 24 of us. To cut a long story short. Within 5 hours of us arriving we were dancing on the tables in the Mooservirt (après bar attached to our hotel)... That is pretty much how it continued.  I have never drunk so much expensive wine, champagne.... and Jaiger Bombs!  Someone described it was like telling a group of 24 people they had 6 months to live! One lunch came to EUR 14,500. Epic! Not the cheapest 4 days of our lives and maybe made a bit of a mockery of David having a go at me 2 days before for spending £80 on a pair of snow/hiking boots. (Especially as they were £160 elsewhere).  Anyway, we will be able to eat for the rest of the year (just about) and it was an amazing way to spend your 50th with fun filled memories for all of us. Thank you Orf and I hope it was worth it xxx

Skiing wise, despite I have never been on a snow holiday and skied less. It was perfect and without doubt one of the most successful for me.  I am a complete coward up mountains, there is no other way to put it! People are usually quite shocked by this, my husband included. But if I'm honest my emotions go from sheer terror to satisfied exhaustion at its best. I had never even been up a mountain until David took me when I was about 30. Where I learnt to snowboard (skiing was not cool). To be honest I was alright, for the first holiday in Tahoe. But, it went downhill from there (ha, ha).  I do totally believe I would have been much more successful if I had had someone to snowboard with. But it's quite a lonely place up the mountain when your not good at something and your on your own. These and David would agree, we're not his finest moments. So eventually after broken ribs I just stopped. 

Then at 40 we were asked to go with a group to Austria.... Orf and Sandra again :-) and I learnt to ski! Wow, how easy is skiing! In the 4 days in ski school I fell over twice (this would be my best 30 minutes snowboarding).  The next year, went to ski school again and had to start all over again. But enjoy the camaraderie that comes with ski school and then go and après with everyone else.  Not ideal but better. Although, if I'm honest it's still not my favourite place to be. 

This year I was determined to progress. So although due to lunches etc I knew we would only ski in the morning, I had to move on with it. In a now or never type way. So I booked a private instructor for my first 3 hours. Joined by the lovely Sam and Ian. Sam an exceptional horsewoman with a heart as big as the moon (for animals anyway) and Ian the fabulous husband of my other friend. Both of which were as nervous as me and in need of some help. This went well and got me up to speed quickly.  Now just for repetition and practise to get the feeling.

Without boring you to death about skiing the same nursery slope for 2 days and my left side issue..... The final day ended in Fraser (Sam's exceptionally patient husband, who also happens to be the most phenomenal skier) along with David (changed man) got Sam and I from the top of the mountain to the hotel! I only had one hissy fit and took my skis off (seriously I have no pride) but as long as I stay in my rhythm I can get down the mountain.  I may add as this is St Anton a notoriously hard mountain where most of the blues are red runs.  I skied a red!
It was exhausting and looking back. I think I loved it.  I certainly wasn't terrified just tired in the end. Turning right is an issue for me and when I get scared my brain freezes (way out of the learning zone) and it must boil down to me not being able to unconsciously put my weight into the left of my body. So as long as I keep turning to reassure myself I can and keep weight left. I can ski!

Now trying to remember all this when I go again next year, is another matter......

True again...

Postural bore!

After my circle lesson with Jonathan last Saturday. I took Eager home rested for 40 minutes and then drove to Becky's for a simulator lesson. (Cramming my day seems such a good in the diary, less when I run around like a nutter to do it) 

Becky has an amazing and very expensive German simulator horse which is so sensitive and picks up all your postural imbalances. Front to back, side to side, hand tension, etc.  I have been on a few times over the years and probably averages out maybe once a year. It was on strider many years ago we discovered my wonky pelvis (it was impossible for me to be level) and Becky introduced me the the most wonderful chiropractor in the world Brian Carter. Thanks to him this is no longer is the case. 

Now due to Eager being young and not so balanced herself, it really has highlighted my weight to the right issue.  I am sure a lot of the reasons she doesn't use her right shoulder is she is trying to counter balance my weight going right all the time by leaning on her left. Also after my sprained sacroiliac I am no sure how much that has done to my pelvis. 

Even knowing is, it was somewhat of a shock to get on him and whilst he wasn't even moving the whole horse was tilting right and it took me a while to figure how to actually get him central. This has never happened before! The next 45 minutes was spent with me working out how to contort the insides of my body to the left.  Initially I thought I had to push my left pelvis down away from my ribs.  But this was really hard work and was creating a lot of tension.  I just couldn't see how it was going to be sustainable. It had to be something else.  Slowly but surely though I was becoming more correct without being aware I was doing anything.  About half way through I decided the correction was to allow my body to do nothing...  Mmmm not sure his was going to be memorable enough to replicate. So by the end with a good correction and no tilting, this is what I decided.

It wasn't a forced movement, it was allowing my left hip to relax.  It wasn't forcing it down it was allowing it to relax down... This could be helped in future by doing fascia release on my backside.  Also to get the same movement in the middle of my body that I had in the right hand side I need to think about being in my left.  I had put myself in the left hand side of my body..  Sounds weird I know. But i just don't live in the left hand side of my body. Good session and massive thanks to striders sensitivity, Becky and Marian standing behind to watch my ballooning sides :-) 

Two days later I was going to see Brian.  I told him all about his and he had a light bulb moment and said he had to release my psoas on the left. To which he did, painfully reminding me of my KMI sessions. Clever man.  Although he also commented that I was a very clever lady for working out what was happening. There are not many. Blaming the company I keep :-)

So all week I have been trying to think left.  My mantra to the beat in RPM is "be left". Sitting on the train I am trying to relax my left hip and be left.  Skiing next week maybe easier if I can think it then.  No wonder I was such a rubbish snowboarder if when I was trying to go left onto my toe edge, my entire body was going right.  It all becomes clear!