Approximately, 11 weeks ago after Eager was showing very intermittent lameness. She was to my shock at 5 years old and barefoot, diagnosed with Navicular Syndrome. Told almost there and then the prognosis wasn't brilliant, but maybe able to do light work and possibly a bit of dressage after remedial shoeing. Not in line with buying an eventer!
Approx. £3.5k, 2 visits from my vet, 1 visit to Rossdales, 1 X-ray, 1 MRI scan, steroid and huyaloric acid injections, a tildren drip and a few differences of opinion later I am finally 5 days away from my trip to Rockley with Eager (which is where I decided she was going the day I was told the diagnosis) She is still shoeless!
In those few weeks I have remained mainly positive, because my dreams for her are still very much alive (if a little extended). I no longer feel ridiculously unlucky. Infact, I feel fortunate. Yes, I had already had two horses diagnosed in their prime to retire. But, they are still with me and I was fortunate enough to have the money (just) and the space to get Eager. I am aware and reconciled to the fact she, for the foreseeable future will be my final horse. But they are all still with me and will spend the rest of their lives with me, in as much comfort as I can offer. I have not had to make any decisions because I can only afford to keep one on a livery yard or equally have had to give up when Conor retired in 2007. I have had 3 good attempts and learnt so much in that time. I still carry on learning everyday. I simply cannot imagine a life without Conor, Zulu, Eager and even Bess. I don't regret a moment.
I have taken advantage of the recent time off and tried to do a combination of house stuff, yard and relaxing :-) A small glimpse of what normal people do. I even went to IKEA yesterday and this morning made and waxed a table!
Becky sent her dates out for next year, last week and I literally do not know what to do. I am a little fed up with planning. I have spent the last few years planning my riding a year in advance... And I'll be honest it hasn't really worked for me. What I will actually need to do is just get on and ride! Whenever and wherever I can! If I am lucky.......
So, I have had a few blips in the last couple of days because last chance saloon is a week away. Its easy to function when a dream is still very much attainable. I very fleetingly allow myself to question what I will do if it doesn't work? But it's so fleeting I don't have an answer. I'll cross that bridge if and when the route means I have too. But preferably, I'll jump that river on a cross country course :-)
I remain to live by my motto "you only regret the things you don't do".