So...... its now August. The end of August at that. Without scratching around in diaries... I would imagine its now over a year since I came off Eager and the decline of my confidence.
Its been a tough, tough year. Mentally, I took a bit of a battering. If I'm honest, if Eager wasn't so expensive to keep (breathing wise) I would have considered selling her. There have been points when I thought it was just her and I would have been happy to ride another horse.
Then another issue arose in her mouth and at the end of May, she had a tooth out. This all giving me another excuse (lets be honest) to not ride in the school.... aware now that it really is coming to shit or bust time!
I have to go back to a plan... So I phone Juliet and explain what is happening to me and out she came at the end of June. She has been pretty much coming to see me every couple of weeks. I love Juliet and whilst I have no idea really what riding 'more leg to hand' means... or 'inside leg to outside hand' when she tells me. I can roughly translate into Becky language. She is an absolute wealth of experience and I trust her. Which is pretty much the most important thing. If someone tells me my horse looks fine and to push on, unless I trust their opinion. I am not going to do it! So very slowly, she has got me trotting around my school to the point of last week I wasn't really very anxious at all (although I had my moments). It amounted to hanging in with the sticky bits and pushing her on. Its still not immensely pretty, but we are functional!
We had a small interlude of Eager looking locked behind and I by some fate of the gods managed to get Rob Jackson out within a week to unlock her. Just in time for my weekend with Becky that I managed to book in for the Bank Holiday.
So we arrived on Saturday for our first lesson, about an hour before my lesson. Giving me enough time to unload, nebulise, put massage pad on, do RJ flexions, tack up and be in the school for 12.30pm. This was slightly deliberate in not allowing me time to think.
As soon as I got on I knew she was fine and in a good move. So off we went, trotting within the first few minutes.
..... 10 months later I can see I posted but didn't finish this blog... Which is a shame. The outcome was... I had a fabulous course with my great support network at Ashen. Its not all been that simple, but I can finally say in June 2019. I can now trot my horse around a school (yes I used to event) ! Its been very hard work... and you need to want it enough.
