MRI Scanaroo

So.... the MRI was last Friday!

Since then I have spoken to Rossdales twice.

Eager was her usual chilled amazing self.  Travelling well and seemed pretty unfazed by arriving at Rossdales Equine hospital.  Maybe helped by me being unfazed as well, being about my 6th visit there over the years. Well, I say unfazed.... Until they led us both to stable no.1 which was Zulu's stable for our last visit there for his final prognosis. The emotion and the feelings of how I felt last time I stood in the stable sobbing into his neck, hit me like a train. Thankfully, I am not in the slightest bit superstitious. So I got over it.

We then met Matthew who was the assistant of the person I was supposed to see Sarah Powell. Who was apparently at a conference in Canada.  After my initial, bugger that's not good.  I decided that I was only here for diagnostics so it didn't really matter.

Matthew then asked me to talk him through what had happened (as the vets hadn't yet sent anything) so I did.....  I told him about Rockley etc.  To which there was only a reaction of that Sarah was aware of Rockley and the work they were doing. I could feel I wasn't having too much effect on him with what I was saying until I said that from what I could gather shoeing etc was only putting a sticking plaster over the wound and wasn't really solving the problem.  I didn't care if she wasn't sound in the next few months, what I wanted was long term soundness that would last us years.  If this meant I couldn't ride or do what I wanted this was fine, if it meant I would be doing what I wanted in 5 years time.  Finally I got a reaction and i think he then realised the sort of person I was. He then commented that I was then very different to most of he people who went to Rossdales.  Thinking about this now, what a sad state of affairs.  Horses another example of I throw away society.

So off I went with Marian to Cambridge for the day whilst Eager B had both of her feet scanned.  

At 4pm I picked her up and took her home.  Unfortunately, Matthew had to deal with an emergency and would call me later.

So he phoned about 6.30 and I then phoned back again on the Monday to clarify a few things.  It basically equates to this.

Firstly, the damage on her navicular didn't look nearly a bad as it had on her x-ray.  Which is good news. There are no holes in the DDFT or damage to the collateral ligaments.  

There isn't really a main problem.  But the is a lot of inflammation around the coffin joint and the elongated navicular bone is putting pressure on the impar ligament and the sesmodian collateral ligament. 

It is a confirmation thing.  Her feet just aren't perfect enough.  I haven't done anything wrong.  It's not due to bad trimming, unshod feet, bad management, over work, under work or bad management. It would have always happened. 

He said Sarah agreed with sending her to Rockley as a good therapy. Also, look into IRAP therapy which would be injected through the DDFT and navicular bursa into the coffin joint. This would work as a more natural anti inflammatory than steroids.  Anyway, I did some research on this over the weekend and whilst I don't disagree with it I wasn't too keen on keep injecting into such a risky place.  The whole thing became irrelevant on the Monday though as he said I needed to do one or the other, not both.  Either send her to Rockley or do the IRAP and put her in shoes in a stable for 3 months.  Lol he said he already knew my answer to that.  Unfortunately, he did backtrack on saying they would recommend Rockley as a treatment for me (to help with insurance) apparently they can't be seen to favour a specific alternative therapy in case it got out on a forum etc.... Well here it is on a blog. 

So, there it is.  Not as bad as we thought was the overall prognosis and Matthew couldnt see after treatment that she shouldn't go back to normal athletic work. :-)

Also, I must say a huge massive thank you to Marian for offering and coming to support me.  Totally unexpected and meant a huge, huge amount to me.  It's not very often I get an offer of help emotionally.  The down side of being capable and strong is that everyone ACTUALLY thinks you are...... 

How to sell the dream?

Eager is booked in to have her MRI scan this Friday.  I was quite chilled about this until I actually read the letter and it advised that remedial farriery would be done on site before the horse goes horse (if required).....  here we go again.....

I will again have to explain why I want my horse to be barefoot, why I think its best and why I want her to remain barefoot and go to Rockley.  All in a lovely way that doesn't sound like I'm telling them what to do! and I anticipate there will be much shaking of head and disagreement with my reasons.

Its so tricky as these vets clearly know what they are doing and I cant imagine they take too kindly, after I have taken my horse there for diagnosis that I then tell them what I am going to do about it.  Because, obviously as banking management I know far more than them.  Which couldn't be further from the truth!

I may be lucky and they may surprise me...

But, I remember when I told the vet last year that I was taking Zulu's shoes off to help his with the proprioception of where is back feet were.  The vet disagreed with me and said it wouldn't help at all.  How could it not help????  I still totally disagree with her! and she was lovely....

I did ask for the same vet and they said they would of complied if it wasn't for the fact she was still on maternity leave :-) and :-( for me.

So, I need to be at my most diplomatic.  Which means I will need to have eaten before I get there (first and foremost).  I need to ask them to try not to openly disagree with me on the analysis unless of course it is something totally different.  Otherwise, I assume the insurance company are going to totally get the 'ump with me for going against advise.

There is a tiny part of me that thinks 'sod it' maybe I should just go with what they are saying.  Maybe she will come slightly sounder (for a while) with shoes?  maybe I will get Loss Of Use and then I'll send her to Rockley with the money?  But, I just cant!  I am now so convinced this is the best long term solution and I'm afraid that I cant help but think the sooner we get this sorted, the more chance we have of long term soundness? or am I just being pig headed?

The rehab reunion

On Saturday.  After Nic inviting me, I drove for 3 hours to the Boomerang Equestrian facility to gate crash the Rockley Rehab Reunion RRR.  It had been a camp Thur-Sun for any previous Rockley clients.  It was an open day on the Saturday for people to go along and ask questions, etc, etc.

I was taking this opportunity to find inspiring stories!  I didn't get to talk to as many people as would have liked.  But, the two people who I did talk to are both now eventing and were great.  Again all were shocked when I said Eager was already barefoot.  It made me quite hopeful that her rehab may go a bit quicker due to the fact her feet are already conditioned to go barefoot unlike probably 95% of other people that go.

I did ask if it hadn't worked for people and the answer is yes.  But mainly if they have something else wrong too and if they do not follow Nic's instructions.  Again, I guess most people are having to change so many things diet, management and riding. Whereas, having had all of my horses barefoot now for sometime.  I may have already addressed some of these factors.  But, LOL we will see.

My main concern is the amount of on going roadwork/hacking I am going to have to do afterwards.  Pretty much everyone has reiterated the more work the better and all seem to do at least 10 miles a week.  Whilst I am sure this is achievable.  It will be tough for me.  Especially, as at the moment as she wont really hack alone.  She is going to have to woman up a bit!  Also in the winter it is all going to need to be done at the weekend.  This is two lengthy hacks each day of about 8km.  This is a good 3-4 hours riding!

But the main thing is, it has worked for other horses and they are all out doing the stuff I want to do!

Great quote ..... Although I do finds some exaggeration a quite amusing

“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.” José Micard Teixeira, 

MRI here we come

Patrick (vet) finally phoned me back this afternoon (in all fairness he has been on holiday) and was on his was to lunch in the City.  I explained the videoing, Nic's response, the Insurance company etc, etc.

He was again, great.  He was annoyed with the insurance company for being so pedantic about his wording (which will hopefully make him think a bit more in the future) and said "good for you" when I mentioned that I told them if they weren't going to pay for Rockley then I wanted an MRI.  But he said, he was going to say lets do an MRI anyway.  He didn't really comment on the walking better downhill than uphill.  So I'm still not really sure what/if anything that means.  He did ask what Rockley thought about the videos and I just said Nic thought they were very helpful and interesting.

So the outcome.... he is going to write a report requesting an MRI scan on Monday and phone Rossdales to get her booked in before October.  So I guess about another 7-10 days away.

Here we go again.....  God, how I hate that drive to Newmarket.

Techno Contemplative...

For the past few weeks a few things have been troubling me.  Firstly and possibly most importantly is I'm finding my ability to concentrate is getting harder.

I no longer appear to be able to just watch the TV. I now have to watch the TV and do something on my I-pad.  I think it started when something that David wanted to watch and I didn't.  Which is fair enough, I think....  But it seems to have progressed to even when I am watching something I want to watch.  I don't seem to be able to just watch it.  It would appear I need to watch it and add things to my sainsburys shopping list, look at Facebook and play 5 rounds of candycrush.  May I take this opportunity to mention that I watch tv for approx an hour a day.  Not always my choice but it's what we do. 

I have worked in London for 26 years.  I have commuted on a train for give and take nearly 2 hours every day of those 26 years.  I dont even want to calculate how much of my life this has taken up! But for approx. 24 of those years I have read a book.  It massively helps! The books changed to a kindle, which is a truly amazing device.  It meant, because I have a 3G one, that if I finish a book half way through one of my trips into London.  I can within about 2 minutes have gone into the kindle shop and buy another one and be reading it. Therefore, changing those odd 20 minutes to a few days (if I grieve the finish of a book) of sitting on the train and being alone with my thoughts or maybe listening to some music.

Now reading is a joy for me and very easy.  It also means I have carried on learning for years and years.... Sometimes good stuff and sometimes just trash LOL

Then came the ipad!  Now I love my ipad.  Again it's 3g.  To avoid taking kindle and ipad to work I just used the ipad. I have a kindle app! But something weird has happened recently.  I no longer seem to be able to read.  I think it started when I had a really busy/stressful time time at work a couple of years ago and for obvious reasons I couldn't switch off and concentrate on a book.  So I added games, Facebook etc.  Which meant I could add stimulation but not actually have to think.  Then the box set of Breaking Bad happened at the beginning of this year and I've never looked back. 

I'm on holiday at the moment and have deliberately not taken my ipad out in the day (apart from today as writing my blog doesn't count) and I have again found the joy of reading and realising I can just read a book.  Without thinking... Oh I can't concentrate after reading 2 pages then googling something, then checking Facebook and playing 5 rounds of candycrush. I have read 3 large books in 6 days :-) 

Why can I not just be anymore.. Which does make me question, do I not want to think anymore? I have mentioned in a post recently that I have questioned my life in a way I haven't since my 20's.   Also, have recently criticised people about their constant analysis of their lives and their personalities.  Thinking that I am content and sorted mentally.  Or have I just been avoiding any thinking and blotting it out with other things....  Food for thought and will I allow myself to eat?

Mmmmm

So I have been away in France for a week.  Which was truly amazing.  I do need to write about this is another post.

Whilst I was away.  The vet had written a fairly wafty report to Rockley to which he copied in the insurance company.  The insurance company have pretty much advised they wont pay for Rockley as it doesn't come under any of their approved treatments.  I have spoken to them today though and mentioned that it was fairly short sighted of them as Rockley has an 85% success rate.... and Eager has Loss of Use.   She said they could right to the underwriters requesting it....Mmmmm thought you might LOL.

So the vet report read as below:

Anyway, because the vet wrote she was only showing signs of intermittent lameness.  Nic at Rockley then contacted me saying could I get some footage of her being lame.  I told her this wouldn't be hard as to me, on a circle.  You couldn't get much lamer!

So as soon as I got home.  Vikki came round to video.  When I noticed she was no where near as sound as she was before I went away.  Very short striding on the road but noticeably much happier going down hill rather than up.  Which I thought was a bit weird.  She also trotted up very short.  We then did the circle video.....  just awful.  Far from intermittent lameness.

Nic has responded saying its very interesting and very useful .  So mission accomplished.

I have phoned the vet and I am waiting for him to get back to me.  It is now clear to me she needs an MRI scan.  There is no point in me paying out for Rockley if its something that will never get better. 

As you can see..... not feeling as hopeful as I once was!