I no longer appear to be able to just watch the TV. I now have to watch the TV and do something on my I-pad. I think it started when something that David wanted to watch and I didn't. Which is fair enough, I think.... But it seems to have progressed to even when I am watching something I want to watch. I don't seem to be able to just watch it. It would appear I need to watch it and add things to my sainsburys shopping list, look at Facebook and play 5 rounds of candycrush. May I take this opportunity to mention that I watch tv for approx an hour a day. Not always my choice but it's what we do.
I have worked in London for 26 years. I have commuted on a train for give and take nearly 2 hours every day of those 26 years. I dont even want to calculate how much of my life this has taken up! But for approx. 24 of those years I have read a book. It massively helps! The books changed to a kindle, which is a truly amazing device. It meant, because I have a 3G one, that if I finish a book half way through one of my trips into London. I can within about 2 minutes have gone into the kindle shop and buy another one and be reading it. Therefore, changing those odd 20 minutes to a few days (if I grieve the finish of a book) of sitting on the train and being alone with my thoughts or maybe listening to some music.
Now reading is a joy for me and very easy. It also means I have carried on learning for years and years.... Sometimes good stuff and sometimes just trash LOL
Then came the ipad! Now I love my ipad. Again it's 3g. To avoid taking kindle and ipad to work I just used the ipad. I have a kindle app! But something weird has happened recently. I no longer seem to be able to read. I think it started when I had a really busy/stressful time time at work a couple of years ago and for obvious reasons I couldn't switch off and concentrate on a book. So I added games, Facebook etc. Which meant I could add stimulation but not actually have to think. Then the box set of Breaking Bad happened at the beginning of this year and I've never looked back.
I'm on holiday at the moment and have deliberately not taken my ipad out in the day (apart from today as writing my blog doesn't count) and I have again found the joy of reading and realising I can just read a book. Without thinking... Oh I can't concentrate after reading 2 pages then googling something, then checking Facebook and playing 5 rounds of candycrush. I have read 3 large books in 6 days :-)
Why can I not just be anymore.. Which does make me question, do I not want to think anymore? I have mentioned in a post recently that I have questioned my life in a way I haven't since my 20's. Also, have recently criticised people about their constant analysis of their lives and their personalities. Thinking that I am content and sorted mentally. Or have I just been avoiding any thinking and blotting it out with other things.... Food for thought and will I allow myself to eat?
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