Monday, 12 January 2015

January New Starts

Next Friday Eager will have been home 4 weeks!!  How time fly's when your having fun :-)

I have been very good and ridden 3 times every week.  Although small blip and didn't manage to ride this Saturday due to 30kmh winds.  She has been really good and I have had no reason to feel its not been working.  We had our longest hack last Wednesday and about 1/4 of a mile from home she did stumble 3 times.  So not sure if it may have been a bit much or if it was because we had 20m of 'Passage' past some young stallions in a field.

I have seen Eager do her 'Passage' a few times, mainly on the lunge and once when I was walking down the road with her in hand.  It absolutely terrified me.  She gets such suspension in mid air, its quite phenomenal. Truly a girlie showing off with her tail bolt upright.  Every time I've seen it, I always think "shit, hope she doesn't do that when I'm on her".  Well, I can say with my hand on my heart, it was truly amazing to sit on, like floating.  Not, like riding an unexploded bomb at all.  So now all I can say is "Shit, I hope she does that again when I'm on" LOL

Apart from that.  I have been trying not to obsess too much and stick with my I'll do photo's and video at 4 weeks and send them to Nic.

I also decided when Eager went away that I needed to lose quite a bit of weight.  At 5'9 I will concede I can carry weight quite well and I do carry it very evenly.  So never really get that perspective of being huge.  But it does creep up....  I spent pretty much all of my 20's between 9 1/2 to 10st (yes I was very slim).  I have spent the last few years at a lot more than that!!  But should be somewhere between 10-11st for ME to be happy.

Previously,the biggest I had been was 12st.  But, what I hadn't expected was to weigh myself last Sunday and be 12st 11lb!!!  I had seen a few photo's on facebook recently and my face looked big.  Talk about a kick into action!

In the last 10 years I have done 2 diets.  Both no (or should I say silly low) carbohydrate.  the infamous Atkins diet in which I lost 2 stone in as many months and the Dukan in which I did the same.  No carbs, just works for me.  I am not saying its easy, but it works and quickly.  For me psychologically quick and noticeable means I stick at it.

I am doing a bit of a hybrid of the both.  So basically meat, fish, vegetables, salad and low fat dairy.  This is it, all of the time.  I have lost 7lb in 7 days...  so clearly working :-)  I know people don't have a good word to say about high protein diets, which I don't really get.  I am eating about quadrouple the amount of veg I normally do.  So I don't really get what is so bad?  I don't eat fruit very often anyway.  So no loss there... and by the way there is no such thing as 'Good' sugar.  Sugar is sugar, whether it comes from an apple or a jelly tot and if your trying to lose weight you need to cut it out.  I just laugh at people who go on diets and consume vast quantities of fruit in a smoothie.  Probably more sugar in that than a mars bar (although I concede they may high slightly more fibre).  Equally I don't agree with the theory of its bad to lose weight quickly.....  really how?  Your just jealous I'm losing and your not I'm afraid!

One thing I have really noticed this time is my motivation.  Yes, I look and feel better slimmer.  I look better in clothes and I can move better.  Which overall makes me more confident about myself.  But that isn't enough when I'm happily scoffing some French bread and cheese.  Eating makes me happy.  But, I can remember how amazing I felt 5 years ago when I lost 2st on the Dukan diet.  So many people commented on how different I seemed as a person.  My mantra truly became Kate Moss "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" and I truly believed this.   I can remember that feeling of being confident, powerful and attractive.  I remember this because I was 38.  I had taken it for granted when I was younger (and it happened naturally).  So realising this is my motivation has made me really think about what motivates people who have been overweight for a long time.  How do you realise how much better you will feel if you have never felt amazing?



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