Badminton Inspiration

Things are just getting better and better with Eager at the moment.  I am thoroughly enjoying riding her and starting to feel more like the rider I know I am.  Riding in the school (out) is no longer an issue, although I still haven't ridden in the school at home.  This is a small amount of me not wanting too but more now to do with the surface being rubbish. 

Last weekend David and I went to Badminton HT for 3 days.  Whilst not on any level am I thinking the **** is possible (that ship has definitely sailed) the Grassroots fences that I saw were do able.

So I really need to work on my mental attitude because I can easily ride what is needed.  I just need to sort my head thing out.  I need to change my mind, from that could happen if I do that? to there is the other side and I need to be there!  Its all in your head.  Which lets face it, is pretty much the difference between the people at the top of any sport and the bottom.

Progression in anything is all about the planning.  Setting yourself smaller achievable to steps to attain an achievable goal.  I say achievable, what I may mean is realistic.  For instance at 43 having only been around 1 3DE and about 2 1DE and many x-country courses up to about 90cm it would be unrealistic to have a goal of winning the Rolex Grand Slam.  Unless, of course I gave up work, won about 40 million and rode a 1 DE everyday for the next few years.  Even then I doubt I would have the experience to do it!!!  But, I do know qualifying for the Grassroots Championships is achievable. 

For the BE90
Eligible horse/rider combinations that finish in the top 10 per cent in each normal BE90  or BE90 Open section held at BE events from 1st July 2014 and 30th June 2015 inclusive, will qualify to compete at a BE90 Regional Final. During August – October 2015, BE90 Regional Finals, confined to qualified horses, will be conducted in accordance with the rules for BE90 classes. Horse and rider combinations may only compete in one of the BE90 Regional Finals for each qualifying result attained, but, having qualified, may not compete in subsequent BE90 Regional Finals.

To start doing this I need to start eventing and I believe if I was to put it in scale it would look something like this.

Compete BE90 - YAY
Compete BE80 - YAY
Compete Unaffiliated 1DE
Compete Cross Country
Compete Show Jumping
Cross Country Training
Show Jumping Training
Try Jumpcross
Jump in different arenas
Jump on grass
Gain hours jump training
Start jumping Eager
School on grass
Compete Dressage
Strengthen Eagers canter
Sort out my arena

Now the ones at the bottom a reasonably interchangeable.  Less so the ones at the top.  The plan has begun....

Confidence.....

I have had something of a revelation in the last few months of actually enjoying my hacking.  So much so that I haven't ridden in the school at all and if I’m honest it has become a bit of a thing! 

Eager is a bossy little thing, not malicious or wanting me on the ground at all.  But if you don't fill her dance card, she flosses around that ball room showing you a few moves of her own (that are yet to be of any benefit, apart from maybe cow roping).   Funnily enough, being wazzed at 180 degrees in 0.2 or a second does not lend itself to me riding in the school.  Avoidance.  Tactic no. 1!

I went to Becky's at the beginning of April for a 3 day course, obviously it’s in a school. Whilst my anxiety were ridiculously  high on a few occasions I did manage to only get one spook in 3 days which wasn't bad going!  In fact by day 3, I realised what a truly amazing horse I have.  Despite not going in the school for 9 months we had a very decent shoulder in and Travers by the end.  Travers I asked for the first time on day 3 and she just did it!  Wow :-)  Trot we realised was making her very tense, so Becky allowed me to avoid this.  Especially, as all was going so well in walk.  It’s clear I can work on things in my own time and get results, without the need to be in the school all of the time.  But this isn’t really solving the problem….

The well-meaning people on the course started to ask me why I was anxious and I wasn’t willing to discuss it.  It’s not that I was being mean, it’s just I don’t want to give it the air time or the brain space.  The brain doesn’t do negative thought.  So if you try not to think about it…. That’s exactly what you are doing.  I know sometimes it’s silly.  But, it is what it is and no amount of analysing it by someone else will help my situation.  In my experience, the only thing that will help ME, for MY situation is time.  I know I need to put myself in the stretch zone, but I need to do that on my terms in my way.  Because, my instinct if I get really stressed is to just leave the situation and I don’t mean physically, I mean mentally.  This really doesn’t do the situation any good at all!  I’m not inclined to put my faith in strangers and the best of times, let alone when I am scared!

I’m sure there are a million reasons why I have lost my confidence in certain situations at the moment.  Age, upset, experience, etc., etc. but the crux of the matter is we just need to get our trust back, in each other.  I had a conversation at the weekend with Marian telling her about Eagers canter through the woods on Saturday and how slow she was.  Marian said can I stop you, you cantered through the woods but you won’t ride in the school?  Yep, don’t have a problem out.  That’s what I’ve been doing 3 times a week for 4 months, why would I LOL.  Makes sense to me!

But, I am aware I need to do something because I have dreams to fulfil.  I have been to Juliet twice and she is working with me and she said I am a million times better each time she sees me.  As long as that continues its fine!  I rode in the school at home this week.  Only for 15 mins (down one end) but I did it and trotted.  It’s now been 3 occasions in the school that she hasn’t done a dramatic spook at an imaginary monster.  No 180’s for a few weeks.  So I am learning that if I ride her and keep her attention she won’t make it up as she goes along and eventually I will forget completely and she is learning (I believe) that it doesn’t hurt anymore when I ride her in the school in circles. We are learning again, to trust each other.

Hacking, she is great in company and rarely gets stressed of spooky.  I had recently had a few successful solo hacks. Not for very long, but working up to the day when she can comfortably go on her own.  But a couple of weeks ago, she wasn’t having it at all.  Bouncing and plunging in the road, dangerously close to ditches and cars because she didn’t want to go where I was telling her.  I just didn’t have the nerve to do what I thought was needed which was to give her a smack and ride her like I wanted to move forward.  I wasn’t in a good place in the road and I wasn’t sure what the fallout was going to be and if I could sit on it.  I didn’t know how far she would go to get her own way.  I went home feeling very dejected and cross with myself for quite frankly not having the balls to ride it!

Last night, I went out with next door and her livery and for some reason I put on my air jacket.  She steamed off in front which was a good sign and I said to Sue and Helen as we approached the dodgy area, can you do me a favour, if she starts to misbehave, don’t come in front of me.  Let me get her through.  Well as luck would have it and we turned the corner there was road signs and barrier etc.  So approaching the area she doesn’t like (donkey field) and with added stimulation as if on cue she stops to spin, which I stop and she starts to bounce up and down. Sue and Helen stayed back and I turned her around and gave her a smack, she bounced a few more times and I smacked again and she moved forward.  Good girl, lots of praise.  She stopped again and started bouncing, another smack and ride it forward.  She went, lots of praise and a long rein as a reward.  This continued by a few more barriers we came across until the last one she just tensed, but carried on going.  I don’t think I have ever been so pleased or felt so confident in my riding in a long time.  I sat on it and bloody rode it!

I learnt the worst she was going to do at that was bunny hop, she learnt that she has to go when I say so.  Back to the contract, you do what I tell you to do and I promise I’ll do my damnedest to not put you in any dangerous situations.

We are getting there…

Post Rockley - What I've actually done - Feed

I feel that I haven't really written much about Eagers return and what I have been doing.  So I'll try and tell you.  But basically, I (maybe for first time) have been doing exactly what I was told to do.

Feed
Has pretty much remained as it was with the addition of high spec minerals.  I for many years have fed a no sugar and as few additives as possible diet from Simple Systems https://www.simplesystemhorsefeeds.co.uk/  SS works for me on many levels and still feed my own version of their Total Eclipse Balancer being linseed, seaweed and brewers yeast.  I order online and they come and deliver and stack up in my barn genius!
I don't consider SS perfect in all things, if I had all the money in the world I would probably go with Thunderbrooks http://www.thunderbrook.co.uk/  But from what I can see its not financially viable for me, a multi horse owner. Dr Deborah Carley is an interesting person indeed and have on frequent occasions for Zulu fed their Gut Restore and Liquid Gold.  She is a font of knowlege and worth following.

With regards to the minerals.  Nic recommends you have your grazing/hay analysed and you supplement accordingly.  I wasn't entirely happy with this due to the hay coming from different places/fields.  Also, I think you need to be careful when feeding straight minerals.
So after some research I decided on a broadspec mineral balancer from the EquiNatural Company http://www.equinatural.co.uk/EquiVita
Because, I have 3 big horses (they all need help with their feet) this seemed the highest spec for the best money.  Nic also recommends a company called Progressive Earth, who I know Marion has found very helpful.  Without a doubt, Zulu and Conors feet have improved since I have been using.  There is definitely a different quality to the hoof.  Much, like I observed in Eagers at Rockley.  Its hard to say, but even to touch, it feels different.  Almost more dense?  I have also since the start of March added extra magnesium to all of their feeds. Which is meant to make a vast difference to their footyness when the grass is too sugary.  You can't overfeed this as the body will just get rid of it with no adverse affect.  Interestly enough, Conor has always loved his foot soaks in Epsom salt.  Which is something I have always done if he looks sore.  Guess what it contains.... yep magnesium!

They have a handful of Simple Systems lucie/grass nuts, natural hay chop (no molasses), large scoop of linseed plus seaweed, rosehips and for my oldies boswelia.  I am currently also feeding dandelion, cleavers, nettle and milk thistle as a spring tonic.

I have always fed herbs to my horses and people have questioned me how I know what to feed them? Well, obviously like everyone else I can read the descriptions for each herb on the box, websites etc.  But, how do I pick them....  well I don't know.  I just decide what they may need and I do it.  I suppose some would say I go with my gut, but I'm sure its more informed than that. 

So far so, good.

11 weeks post Rockley and 1st Ashen Course

Eager has now been home from Rockley for 11 weeks and I can honestly say she is 'sound'.  Her stride has opened up so much in the last 3/4 weeks.  My little pony hacking buddies can no longer keep up.  Which is as it should be when your riding a 16.2 warmblood and your friends are on 12.2 ponies :-)

It was Becky's 10 year anniversary of have Ashen EC open this weekend.  This is when I had Eager booked in to make her debut return.  Which she did with much aplomb!!  In fact a little too much.  I had a sneaking suspicion this week that she was in season.  Plus, I haven't ridden her in an arena, at all.  So I guessed it may be interesting.... so much so that I actually took and put on my air jacket.

So after an example of how she could rodeo and stand on her back legs (So high I thought she was going over backwards) we kept her schooling on the lunge for about 1/2 an hour.  I had bad thoughts that this was going to be a complete waste of money.  There was no way, I was getting on her!  To which Becky agreed.  Becky arrived with a schooling whip with a bag on the end.  We needed to teach her to keep her flailing limbs away from us!  So B proceeded to school on the lunge with changes of movement and direction frequently.  She is Bossy and you need to fill her brain, before she does.  Any loss of attentiveness and the bag chased her a little.  Always wanting the shoulders and head pointing at me (in the middle) instead of the back end.  She twigged very, very quickly.

So I got on.... for about 1 minute and then I got off again.  We established I get very uncomfortable when I lose her shoulders.  Eager has taken control of her shoulders and I need to make sure I have them on lunge, in hand and ridden.

So we did in hand work.  Getting her to bend around me but, getting the shoulders to move away.  So if on the 3/4 line, get her to bend around me but leg vield to the track.  The aim is to get the front inside leg to cross over on front of the outside leg.  She needs to move forward and away. 

So I then got on again......  Yay!!!  Eager (finally in control of herself)  Doing constant shoulder movement, change of direction and movement.  Don't have a floor plan.  Just keep her moving and thinking!!  Do not allow her to take control!

A more natural winter?

It has just occurred to me (lying in bed freezing) that I have been writing this blog for over a year now.  I remember quite vividly how rubbish I felt last year at this time and how I was struggling with the horses and considering a livery yard for all!

Now I'm not saying it's been easy at all and my back is struggling to cope with the sheer quantity of manure that I appear to shovel this time of year but I'm certainly no where near the depths of despair I was last year. 

This year I had a big switch in winter procedure and it appears to have benefited the horses as much as me.  Two major things have changed.

One, when winter reared its head in about October/November I made a decision to not bring them in overnight.  But to enable them to have the option.  They are brought in at about 4pm for dinner and a haynet.  Then I open the doors at 8pm and they are free to wander around the yard and go to the haytubs I made or stay in the stable.  I shut the fields off, to give them some kind of rest and they are turned out on the hard standing around the yard.  It has only been the last month or so I believe they spend more time in the stables (mucking out has become harder).  Each morning they line up down the yard and await breakfast.  I then put more hay in the tubs and at least one day a week, open the field up (it looks hideous, but who cares). It is something I have been considering doing for a few years and it helps to wear their bare feet down and also keeps them healthier on a variety of harder and sometimes drier surfaces.   Certainly healthier than wet mud and then soft bed 24/7.  I muck out each morning and shut the stable doors.  Sam then poo picks around the yard when she brings them in the afternoon.

The other major change is I haven't rugged.  This was my biggest leap of faith.  Zulu has always struggled to keep weight on over the winter.  Bess mainly looks good, Conor always looks better than good as does Eager.  So I worked on the basis that the only ones I need to keep and eye on are Bess, because she is 30 and Zulu, well because he is Zulu :-)  The worst that could happen is they drop weight at which point I feed them more or rug them.  The only time I rug is when I know it is going to rain all day or all night.  For instance I left them out this morning rug free in the snow, as I knew it wasn't going to snow all day.  They all without exception look amazing!  Zulu far better than usual neither Bess or Conor much different.  The only one I think has dropped some weight is Eager, but she needed to!  So perfect.  They have been rug free for 98% of the winter.  Horses coats work by trapping air, so their coats stand up and it creates a layer of warmth around their body.  A sign it works and no heat is escaping is when it snows and it sits on their back, unmelted.  When I put a rug on now, I make sure its a thick one as by putting the rug on, I am stopping the hair from standing up. That's why I have rugged in heavy rain and I have religiously curry combed mud off.  Both of which stop the coat from working effectively.  I have only done it though as they are out 24/7, which also gives them to chance to create heat by moving.  Not sure if it works so well on a stabled horse?

Its now the beginning of February and as I horse owner I know that winter is far from over.  Only in April will I breath a sigh of relief.  But, I think its worked and definitely makes you think and reassess what you do with your land.  From a barefoot perspective an all weather surface saves you a lot of work riding on the roads etc. and the thought of all year turnout with adlib hay can only be good for them?  Conor certainly used to hate wearing a rug and would show it quite visibly.  I am lucky that I have the ability to evolve with my horses and with knowledge,what you believe is right and wrong.


 

1 Month from Rockley

Last Friday was Eager's anniversary of being a month back from Rockley.  I managed to download a free app on my phone so I could record Eagers walk in both the medio lateral and if she was landing heel first.  It took quite a few attempts to get it right and again help from Marian.

Below is the heel first

 

and then the medio lateral

 

I sent to Nic at Rockley and she said it wasn't quite high enough spec to see the heel first exactly.  But, getting my eye in I would say it is or only just flat.  Obviously, I want heel first!  The medio lateral video shows quite clearly the twist on the right fore.  But, hardly seen on the left.  It will be really interesting to compare this in a couple of months when the total new foot is grown.

 

Previously, to this I had taken her for a small hack on the road Solo.  Which she was really good.  I then took her in the school for the first time since she was diagnosed.  Initially she felt pretty good....  Then, I think she felt too good and we did a good impression of a rodeo across the school.  I did think she was going to jump out.  But,thankfully stopped and put me back in the saddle!  Shortly after I dismounted, un-tacked and put her on the lunge where she decided to run around like a charging Warthog for 10 minutes.  Fair enough... I think this may need to be work in progress :-)

 



January New Starts

Next Friday Eager will have been home 4 weeks!!  How time fly's when your having fun :-)

I have been very good and ridden 3 times every week.  Although small blip and didn't manage to ride this Saturday due to 30kmh winds.  She has been really good and I have had no reason to feel its not been working.  We had our longest hack last Wednesday and about 1/4 of a mile from home she did stumble 3 times.  So not sure if it may have been a bit much or if it was because we had 20m of 'Passage' past some young stallions in a field.

I have seen Eager do her 'Passage' a few times, mainly on the lunge and once when I was walking down the road with her in hand.  It absolutely terrified me.  She gets such suspension in mid air, its quite phenomenal. Truly a girlie showing off with her tail bolt upright.  Every time I've seen it, I always think "shit, hope she doesn't do that when I'm on her".  Well, I can say with my hand on my heart, it was truly amazing to sit on, like floating.  Not, like riding an unexploded bomb at all.  So now all I can say is "Shit, I hope she does that again when I'm on" LOL

Apart from that.  I have been trying not to obsess too much and stick with my I'll do photo's and video at 4 weeks and send them to Nic.

I also decided when Eager went away that I needed to lose quite a bit of weight.  At 5'9 I will concede I can carry weight quite well and I do carry it very evenly.  So never really get that perspective of being huge.  But it does creep up....  I spent pretty much all of my 20's between 9 1/2 to 10st (yes I was very slim).  I have spent the last few years at a lot more than that!!  But should be somewhere between 10-11st for ME to be happy.

Previously,the biggest I had been was 12st.  But, what I hadn't expected was to weigh myself last Sunday and be 12st 11lb!!!  I had seen a few photo's on facebook recently and my face looked big.  Talk about a kick into action!

In the last 10 years I have done 2 diets.  Both no (or should I say silly low) carbohydrate.  the infamous Atkins diet in which I lost 2 stone in as many months and the Dukan in which I did the same.  No carbs, just works for me.  I am not saying its easy, but it works and quickly.  For me psychologically quick and noticeable means I stick at it.

I am doing a bit of a hybrid of the both.  So basically meat, fish, vegetables, salad and low fat dairy.  This is it, all of the time.  I have lost 7lb in 7 days...  so clearly working :-)  I know people don't have a good word to say about high protein diets, which I don't really get.  I am eating about quadrouple the amount of veg I normally do.  So I don't really get what is so bad?  I don't eat fruit very often anyway.  So no loss there... and by the way there is no such thing as 'Good' sugar.  Sugar is sugar, whether it comes from an apple or a jelly tot and if your trying to lose weight you need to cut it out.  I just laugh at people who go on diets and consume vast quantities of fruit in a smoothie.  Probably more sugar in that than a mars bar (although I concede they may high slightly more fibre).  Equally I don't agree with the theory of its bad to lose weight quickly.....  really how?  Your just jealous I'm losing and your not I'm afraid!

One thing I have really noticed this time is my motivation.  Yes, I look and feel better slimmer.  I look better in clothes and I can move better.  Which overall makes me more confident about myself.  But that isn't enough when I'm happily scoffing some French bread and cheese.  Eating makes me happy.  But, I can remember how amazing I felt 5 years ago when I lost 2st on the Dukan diet.  So many people commented on how different I seemed as a person.  My mantra truly became Kate Moss "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" and I truly believed this.   I can remember that feeling of being confident, powerful and attractive.  I remember this because I was 38.  I had taken it for granted when I was younger (and it happened naturally).  So realising this is my motivation has made me really think about what motivates people who have been overweight for a long time.  How do you realise how much better you will feel if you have never felt amazing?